


to always hold on

by ohsoblue



Category: NoPixel
Genre: Injury Recovery, Insecurity, M/M, aka soft bois and siz helping curtis, as well as curtis reassuring siz about their relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:07:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25844056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohsoblue/pseuds/ohsoblue
Summary: Siz helps his boyfriend when he gets hurt and ends up being reassured about their relationship at the same time.
Relationships: Siz Fulker/Curtis Swoleroid
Kudos: 8





	to always hold on

**Author's Note:**

> just some good ol insecure siz and hurt curtis. i love these soft bois.
> 
> there's nothing to really warn in this one except that it's mentioned curtis was shot, so if that's not your thing, you've been warned.
> 
> you can find me over on twitter [@imightbeblue (ohsoblue) ](https://twitter.com/imightbeblue)

Curtis finds himself waking up to the feeling of fingers sliding through his hair, nails occasionally scraping against his scalp in a way that makes him want to push closer. He pries his aching eyes open to see who it is and is met with the sight of Siz texting on his phone with his free hand, his own hair a mess. It looks as though Siz had been pulling at it out of stress.

Not that Curtis can really blame him, considering that he’s wrapped from neck to pelvis in bandages from gunshot wounds and was only just released from the hospital the night before. He is mildly shocked at himself for not waking up when Siz got into his room, but whatever; he gave Siz spare keys for a reason.

He shifts with a groan and reaches out for Siz’s waist, tugging at him to come a little closer.

Siz jolts and lets his phone slide from his palm, all the way to the floor. 

“When’s the last time you slept?” Curtis asks, voice rough. He swallows a few times and is grateful when Siz lifts a glass of water to his lips, helping him drink. As he does, he takes the time to examine Siz’s face, from the deep bruises under his eyes to the downward tilt of his mouth that says he’s worried.

“Yesterday,” Siz replies, putting the empty glass back on the end table. Then, he’s leaning down to press a kiss to Curtis’s forehead. He lingers for a soft moment that has Curtis’s heart squeezing in his chest. 

Curtis’s fingertips skim down Siz’s wrist until he’s grabbing his fingers, bringing them up so he can kiss his knuckles.

“Get in here with me,” Curtis whispers, patting the free side of his bed. 

Siz hesitates, before climbing over Curtis as carefully as he can, then dropping to lay beside him. 

Wondering why Siz is suddenly being so… weird, Curtis turns his head towards Siz, giving him another quick look. That unreadable emotion in his eyes suddenly has a name; insecurity. 

“Are you alright?” Curtis finds himself asking when he places it.

Siz hums and then asks, “Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

“Avoiding the question,” Curtis points out, carefully turning onto his side. Siz is quick to help him, a hand firm yet gentle against his side. 

“In a city like this,” Siz says, “why would you ever pick _me_?”

The question has a lot of thought put behind it, Curtis can tell. But how long has he been lingering on such a question? And how long has Curtis allowed him to be insecure about their relationship in this way? It feels a lot like failure, which is something he’s never allowed himself to embrace.

He reaches over and caresses Siz’s face, catching the subtle flinch. It never fails to make him a little angry, because he doesn’t know if it’s because it’s Curtis touching him or if he’s just never had anyone else touch him like this- gentle, like he matters.

“Why wouldn’t I? You make people laugh, you’re secretly a big softie, you put yourself out there for the people you care about…” Curtis trails off and then, with a quirk of his lips, says, “I can continue if you’d like?”

Siz, looking off to the side as red creeps over his cheeks, says, “No, that’s- no.”

Unfortunately, the embarrassment doesn’t last, because Siz then turns to him and after biting his lip, asks, “Curtis, do you trust me?”

And shouldn’t that be an easy yes? Because Curtis does. He trusts Siz to have his back in a fight, to be honest to him when they talk even if the truth hurts, to be there for Curtis like he is now, and to always try his best to cheer Curtis up when he’s down. He trusts him to keep secrets if Curtis asks, he trusts him enough to give him a spare key. So, if he’s being entirely truthful, he doesn’t know why he’s hesitating. And why he’s letting Siz’s face close off like that.

“Siz…” Curtis says, and then he sighs. “Can I ask where this is coming from?”

Nice one, Curtis thinks, avoiding the question. Of course, Siz is gonna catch that, too. He’s never as dumb as he plays up to be.

“I guess… it’s been on my mind for a while.” Siz turns off and stares up at the ceiling, before realizing he’s put his scarred side to Curtis and fidgets. Curtis stops him from rolling over, pushing away his aches to lean over and kiss his scar.

“Talk to me,” Curtis says, hovering over Siz. “We’ll work it out.”

“Will we?” Siz asks, eyebrows raising. “Because you can’t even answer whether or not you trust me.”

Which- Curtis will grant. He knows that if he had asked Siz that very same question, Siz would have said yes at the speed of sound.

“It’s hard,” Curtis says, “because I do, but there are things I literally can’t tell you.”

“Not hard for that in Los Santos,” Siz replies, shaking his head, mussing up his hair further. “I don’t mind that there are… secrets. I have a few of mine.”

But does he really not care or is he just saying that? Because as far as Curtis knows, Siz and Zelda had shared _everything_ with each other, no hesitation or second-guessing about it. Then again, time can change all. Does Siz really not care then? In a way, it’s a relief.

“You’re not just saying that?” Curtis checks.

“Well, no- but… sometimes things in this city don’t stay secrets, you know? And I know you have an idea about how connected I can be,” Siz says. It’s the first time Curtis has ever heard him acknowledge that last fact. 

“So you’ll hear things about me in passing, sure, and when you do, you can talk to me about it,” Curtis replies, with an easy shrug. 

“I’m worried about whether or not you’ll actually talk to me about it,” Siz murmurs. “I don’t always agree with the things you do and that same I’m sure applies to me as well, but… if I want clarification, are you going to tell me what I want to hear or are you going to be straight up with me?”

“Siz, I might dance around things sometimes, but if you ask me, I’ll be honest,” Curtis replies and then, with a gentle hand on his chin, faces Siz towards him. “Now, if you don’t mind, can I ask you who the fuck’s been making you feel like this?”

Siz chews on that for a second and then says, “No one.”

“Right,” Curtis says, doubtful. “No one at all.”

“Well- just little comments here and there from various people. Asking why you’re with me, mentioning you’re flirting with people, Flippy telling me things you intentionally leave out of our conversations. It all adds up,” Siz says with a sigh like he’s getting these things off his chest for the first time in a while. 

“First off, I haven’t flirted with many people since I started dating you. I mean, look at you. You’re hot. I have what I need and want all wrapped up in a small angry boyfriend,” Curtis teases, then more seriously, “Please don’t listen to them. Those people have no idea of the feelings I hold for you. Siz, I really do trust you- especially with my life. I can’t tell you how many people I would give that same trust, you hear me? And it’s so fucking hard to tell you things when I know they could hurt you. I’m working on that, I promise.”

Siz blinks a few times, swallowing roughly, but he nods against the pillow. Curtis can’t resist leaning down, pressing a kiss to his lips. He sucks up Siz’s returned affections, parting from him with a soft, pleased hum. 

Then Siz snaps, “Curtis, you should be resting.” 

As Curtis is gently helped onto his back, he can’t help smile, listening to Siz fret. His pillow is fluffed, he’s brought more water, and he spends the rest of the day cuddling with his boyfriend.

And if he ever finds whoever has been making his boyfriend so doubtful, well… Curtis is known to shoot first, sometimes.


End file.
